Shattered Polaroids

Please read the whole ad carefully before contacting me.
Trust me, it is very easy for me to tell if you haven’t read it.

Minimum booking duration is 3 hours at £390, with each subsequent hour being an extra £150.

Important: If you cancel a booked appointment less than 7 days beforehand, I will require at least 50% of the session cost to make up for:

1. The other work I turned down due to clashing with your appointment.
2. The time and work I put into myself and my appearance leading up to the appointment (hair, nails, etc.).
3. The inconvenience of rearranging my calendar around your booking only for it to be cancelled.

Please respect me—I am a person first and foremost, and I have bills to pay. I cannot do that if an appointment is cancelled at the last minute with no compensation.

---

Now, onto the fun stuff: me!

Heya! My name is Stephanie! I'm a flirty 25-year-old northern gal living in Cardiff. I love nights out, but I love a night in even more. My favorite type of date is an overnight where we go out for drinks and a nice dinner—I love an excuse to wear a nice dress, and I make for fantastic arm candy, if I do say so myself.
My drinks of choice: Bloody Mary, Espresso Martini, and Pornstar Martini, so please keep those in mind when choosing restaurants and bars!

Some things I’ve studied that you can use for conversation fodder include:

• Music (I’m a keen guitarist and bassist, learning piano, and have briefly studied jazz and opera).
• Architecture (I have a degree in civil engineering and love building design).
• Physics (Yes, I’m a nerd).
• I’m also a skilled skier and have played various sports at local to national levels.

I love museums (especially ones I haven’t been to), sports games (preferably football or rugby—unless you're explaining cricket), art galleries, and concerts (as long as it's calm and seated—I’ve retired from mosh pits).

I’m easy to get along with and will talk your ear off, especially if you start a conversation about one of my interests.

Gifts:

• Jewellery (bracelets, necklaces, pierced ears)
• Video games (Nintendo Switch)
• Clothes (size 10, but best not a surprise so I can check size charts)
• Perfume (I love Princess by Vera Wang)
• Or check my Amazon and Throne wishlists.

I’m 5'10", 130lbs, ~28” waist, ~36” hips.

No incalls. I’m happy to travel almost anywhere in the UK for overnights and can meet you at your place or a hotel. I’m comfortable meeting people aged 21 to 69.

---

If I appeal to you, send me a message on WhatsApp. I won’t respond to regular SMS, and unsolicited phone calls will get you blocked.

I don’t do drop-in sessions; I screen people for safety. If I haven’t met you before, I need at least 7 days’ notice. Ideally, book 1 month in advance.

If your message is just "you available?" I’ll know you haven’t read my ad, and your number will be blocked.

Here’s a script to use when messaging me to speed up the booking process:

“Hi from Birchplace! My name is [your name], and I’d like to book you. Are you available on [date(s) at least 7 days away] at [time(s)] for a [duration (minimum 3 hours)] booking?
I’m into [your interests] and would like to do [activities] in our session. I love when girls wear [styles of clothes/lingerie/makeup that turn you on].
I’ve included a photo of my ID because I understand your safety is important. I wouldn’t expect someone from a marginalized community in a marginalized profession to meet a stranger without assurances for her safety.
Hope to hear from you soon!
[your name]”

No ID = No meet.

---

Things that will get you blocked:

• Arguing about sending ID (shows lack of respect for my safety)
• Haggling over prices (shows lack of respect for my time)
• Unsolicited phone calls (shows lack of respect for my time)